15 signs your child is affected by bullying and what you can do about it
October is National Bullying Prevention Awareness Month. Here's how you can tell if your child is being bullied — or if they're the ones doing the bullying.
The following are potential indicators from stopbullying.gov. Not all children being bullied show warning signs, and they can also point to other issues, like depression or substance abuse. Many of these indicators are for school-aged children, but bullying can happen to anyone of any age.
Changes in eating habits
Be on the lookout for changes in eating habits, such as suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they didn't eat lunch from stress or social pressure.
Declining grades or loss of interest in school work
If a previously studious, interested student starts showing loss of interest in schoolwork or stops wanting to go to school, or if their grades begin declining noticeably, that could be a sign of bullying. Loss of focus is a common result of worry or anxiety.
Self-destructive behavior
Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide should always be taken seriously. Even if the underlying cause is something other than bullying, if you notice these signs seek help. If someone is thinking of suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline online or at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem
This may be one of the more difficult indicators to notice since it's more internal, but if your child is showing a drop in self esteem or feelings of helplessness in what they say or how they act, it could be a sign that something — or someone — is troubling them.
Feeling or faking sickness, headaches and stomach aches
Frequent headaches or stomach aches are be one of the body's ways of exhibiting unusual amounts of stress. Also, frequently feeling sick (or faking sickness) to avoid going to school or social situations is another signal that something is wrong.
Unexplained injuries
If your child comes home with unexplained injuries, scrapes or bruises, it could be due to bullying.
Lost or destroyed clothing, books, or other belongings
There are many different forms of bullying, from verbal to social to physical to a mix of each. Items like books, electronics, jewelry, or clothing that go mysteriously missing — or are damaged or destroyed — are an indicator that something is going on.
Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
Like illness or stomach aches, difficulty sleeping and/or persistent nightmares is a clue that something has shifted in the victim's life and should be addressed.
Avoidance of social situations or sudden loss of friends
Another common marker of bullying is the victim suddenly spending much more time alone. Avoiding social events like games or turning down opportunities to hang out with friends when those weren't behaviors before is a clue that it's time to talk.
What you can do
There are many reasons why a child might not tell an adult they're being bullied — feelings of helplessness and isolation, fear of backlash, not wanting to feel helpless or rejected by their peers. If you can, first talk to the child. If they're being bullied in school, reach out to a teacher, or the principal or school counselor. A local counselor or mental health services can also be contacted if someone is acting differently than normal, like always seeming sad or anxious or unable to complete standard tasks. If there is immediate risk of harm, call 911.
Signs that your child is bullying: Getting into fights
This can include physical or verbal fights.
Has friends who bully
If your child's friends seem to be bullying people, your child might be doing so as well.
New money or possessions
Just how suddenly having lost or destroyed possessions can be an indication your child is being bullied, your child having more money or things can mean they acquired it through bullying.
Detention
Bullies are often sent to the principal's office or get detention more often.
Blames others
This can include blaming others for their problems, but not being willing to take responsibility for their actions is another sign of bullying.
Worried about reputation
It's normal to think about how others perceive you, but being overly competitive and worrying about their reputation or popularity can be another sign of bullying.
Some personnel have been placed on leave amid an investigation linked to West High’s former dean of students being charged with sex-related crimes involving students.
Jennifer Ploeger was placed on paid leave amid an investigation into former Dean of Students Robert Gilkey-Meisegeier.
